Driving home for Easter

Well, I've made the brave journey home from Farnham to Bloxworth and now I'm happily benefitting from the joys of family life.

These joys being, of course, regular hot (and more importantly) nutritious meals which I don't have to cook myself, having all my washing done for me (and ironed for the first time in ages) and generally being able to sleep without a lethal weapon by my side.

All of which would be truly legendary were it not for the lack of broadband. Anyone who may have read my previous posts will know that I have a problem. I am hopelessly adicted to the joys of the internet, particularly the new era of gaming that has come with it. I am (whisper it) a nerd.

At home we don't have broadband. Not because my Dorset family is afraid of this new-fangled witchcraft and believe there is a catch somewhere. No, in fact Bloxworth has long been enjoying the delights of electrictity and running water since Jimmy the hamster was brought in to run in the wheel that powered the turbine down the road in 1968. It's simply because BT haven't yet considered us yokels far enough evolved to comprehend broadband internet.

Instead we have 56k dial-up. This means that whenever my mum needs to make a call, or is even expecting a call, internet access is banned. It has taken me a grand total of two hours just to gain access to my blog today. I thought the coast was clear, clicked connect, and after less than three minutes an irritated voice sounded from down the hallway: "Who's on the internet?" I twitched as the anger started to build, I'd pre-booked 'net time yesterday, she knew I needed it. Calming myself down, I disconnected and went and hid away for an hour while she gossiped on the phone. Fair enough, it happens, but when your dad has to step in to defend your 'net time second time round because you're about to get booted off again (after less than two minutes) because your mum wants him to phone the bank, it seems a little silly.

So anyway, I'm here in this tiny village, with access to none of my virtual friends, with no Xbox Live and most importantly, no World of Warcraft. This is like cold turkey, but it's worse. At least junkies can visit their local dealer and get caned any time any place. My addiction stems from something I can't have, broadband. Two weeks without my alternative reality, without escapism. What am I to do?

It does, however, say on the box that WoW is compatible with 56k modems...could I be saved?